Last month, my mother-in-law passed away. Suddenly, yes, but there are realities we have to face. She was ninety-eight––my husband is the youngest of seven children.
She lived a good life and missed my father-in-law dearly, so there’s peace in knowing she was happy to be moving on, but there’s still a sadness. Like last Sunday when he realized he wouldn’t be picking up the phone to talk to her like he had every week for years. And yet, I love knowing that the root of that sadness is love.
I’m not sure her funeral will end up as one of those crystal memories you can recall every detail of – apart from a frigid January day in Salt Lake City – but there is one thing I don’t think I will ever forget.
My mother-in-law, Pearl, has been saying for the past decade that she was going to leave all of her assets to Virginia, one of my husband’s sisters.
Virginia and her husband had been living with Pearl for nearly a decade. There aren’t a lot of assets, but it is not nothing, so Virginia being the generous person that she is was… uncomfortable, now that the hypothetical will had become very real.
So, after the funeral was over, she brought her four remaining siblings together, and shared exactly that. I am uncomfortable with what I have been given. But here’s what I won’t forget –– every single one said back to her, almost an echo. Do not be uncomfortable. This is what Mom wanted. This is what we want too. You gave her the best care she could ask for at the end of a long life. She was grateful, and we are too. And that was it. Gratitude. No fuss. No holes in the drywall and lawyers on retainer.
We’ve all heard of families fractured over an inheritance. There was none of that here.
That is legacy. To be the kind of person, the kind of figure who – when your time comes – inspires gratitude. The standard you set, throughout an entire lifetime, becomes one final lesson of love. All your children, now adults in their own right, refuse to grab, quibble, and claim.
That is the kind of person I want to be. I think that’s the kind of person we all want to be. I recognize that we don’t have control over what our children will do or say. But we can certainly model for them the behavior we want to see. And that’s what Pearl Alice Hanson Johnson did.
Over the past month, we released our conversation with the Governor of Utah, Spencer Cox. There, you’ll find practical lessons on this sometimes vague, intangible idea of “inclusive leadership.” There’s something to be said for a political leader who is willing to film an ad side-by-side with his opponent, not knives out against him.
I’d point you as well to the recent episode with Ashley Smith. She’s the co-owner of the Utah Jazz with her husband, yes, and many other successes, but I’d love for you to listen to her passion for dance. We all have our own sources of energy, and the outlets for that energy, but how do you turn that into real action?
And coming up, there’s Dr. Michael Gervais releasing on our new upload date this Friday. How many times a day do you think about what others are thinking of you? At a certain point, it can seem hard-wired into us. So what can we do when that fear of others stops us from achieving our dreams? Tune in this Friday.
What are your thoughts? Reflections? I would love to hear from you!
In the meantime, Happy February, and all my best,
Whitney
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