“Life is a mirror: If you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.” William Makepeace Thackeray
A few years ago, I heard a story about an interaction that a person recently appointed to an extremely high-profile position had with Alan Mulally. Mulally is the former CEO of Boeing, and Ford, a former CEO of the Year, and a hero of mine. The leadership advice he gave to this person was, “You have a nice smile; smile more.” Followed by, “In your position, your face isn’t yours anymore.”
This is the advice from a person who employed tens of thousands of people, with literally millions of stakeholders, to another in a similar position. Every expression on your face and every move you make is scrutinized for meaning. People are always watching you.
Surprising advice all the same. Almost too simple to be believed and followed.
People told me many times during my youth and young adulthood—too many times to count—”You are so serious; you never smile.” I wanted to smile; I really did. But smiling opens our faces and exposes us to others more, emotionally. I think it made me feel vulnerable. Over time, I developed the habit of concealing my insecurity behind a somber expression. According to my internal narrative, no one would see the real me if I kept my mouth closed. I wanted to hide behind this mask.
Maybe some of you can relate. Unfortunately, like the notion that ostriches bury their heads in the sand believing they won’t be seen, a debunked myth (ostriches are really turning and tending to their eggs), the unsmiling face reveals rather than conceals our inner angst.
Not only that, but the unsmiling face is not just a defense; it becomes a weapon. It warns others not to trespass on our personal space; fight or flight will be forthcoming. When we willingly lower that defense and open up with a smile, the warning sword we brandish becomes a plowshare of friendship and civility.
Smiling, however, also triggers a “little feel-good party in [our] brain,” activating dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin, and can lower our heart rate and blood pressure. Smiling can even help relieve pain. It’s a homeopathic remedy we can share with others, as smiles have been scientifically determined to be contagious.
Regardless of our sphere(s) of activity, some people take their cues from our face: our frown, our chagrin, our eye-rolling disapproval—or our smile. Some of the simplest things have the most powerful impact on our sense of well-being, like a smile or a ray of sunshine.
And, to my delight, this week, we have Alan Mulally as our podcast guest, who talks about how and when he learned to smile.
During the podcast, he outlines his Working Together Principles. We have used and repeated them countless times during team meetings here at Disruption Advisors. You’ll want to look at these as you are listening to this episode of the podcast. These are the behaviors that were agreed to, and expected, of the leadership team at Boeing, and later at Ford.
Astonishing, isn’t it? These principles are so simple, and yet, as you will hear on the podcast, highly effective.
Here’s to smiling and loving people more,
Whitney
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