A few months ago, my sister recommended that I read a book from the Inspector Gamache murder mystery series by Louise Penny.
Beyond a brief flirtation with Agatha Christie during high school, murder mysteries have not generally been my thing.
But, Louise Penny’s writing is different.
I’m now on the sixth in the series, and I’m so engrossed in the world she has created that I frequently choose to read rather than watch K Dramas. Partly it’s because I can’t figure them out, but mostly, the characters are compelling, almost all deeply flawed, and full of humanity.
One thing Penny writes that struck me deeply is about why someone takes another person’s life:
“Murder is deeply human. A person was killed, and a person killed. And what powered the final thrust wasn’t a whim, wasn’t an event. It was an emotion. Something once healthy and human had become wretched and bloated and finally buried. But not put to rest. It lay there, often for decades, feeding on itself, growing and gnawing, grim and full of grievance. Until it finally broke free of all human restraint. Not conscience, not fear, not social convention could contain it. When that happened, all hell broke loose. And a man became a monster.”
This is on my mind as I think about what is currently happening in Israel and Gaza. We think of it in sweeping ways, but it is all deeply individual.
Individuals have taken lives. Individual lives have been taken. There are individuals who are confronted daily with ongoing violence. Affected individuals who feel not enough people care or notice the bad things that are happening.
For me, and perhaps you, it’s easy to feel like—what do I do? What can I do?
Here are some suggestions:
1) Reach out to friends and colleagues who are hurting and acknowledge their loss and experience.
2) Write about the experience or share what is written by others.
3) Look inward.
Russell M. Nelson, a world-renowned surgeon turned religious leader, said, “Look deeply into your heart to see if there are shards of pride or jealousy that prevent you from becoming a peacemaker.”
That is what I am thinking about today.
It’s easy for me to think I would never get to the point where I would be so hurt, so betrayed, so full of lost dignity, that I would commit an atrocity.
Is that true?
I can think of instances in my life, where I wanted to lash out. Where that would have been the easier thing to do.
It can take all that we have to approach a painful situation as peacemakers. Not to pretend there isn’t a problem but to confront it directly, with peacemaking instead of anger or hostility. Russell Nelson continued, “We can literally change the world – one person and one interaction at a time…contention is a choice. Peacemaking is a choice. You have your agency to choose between anger and reconciliation.”
Is there a place in your life where you want to choose to be a peacemaker?
This week’s podcast is James E. Dixon, a leader who is inspiring hundreds of thousands of people. As a child, he heard words of bitterness from his father, but the very opposite from his grandmother.
It was her words he chose to sow in his heart, and they’ve allowed him, like Superman, to become a man of steel.
As always, thanks for being here.
My best,
Whitney
P.S. If you want to read more about avoiding conflict escalation, re-listen to these two podcast episodes, Amanda Ripley and Donna Hicks.
