Whoops, I did it again.
I didn’t track that last Sunday was Father’s Day until Sunday morning when a colleague (thank you, Tope) sent me a note saying, “I hope you have a Happy Father’s Day.”
Wake-up call. And no, it’s not the first time I’ve forgotten Father’s Day until the last minute.
We did spend time together as a family, and during dinner on our patio, each of us—our son David, daughter Miranda, and I—shared what we appreciate and love about our father and husband, Roger. One of the things that I love about him is that he is a deeply good human being, and I have never, ever, ever, not one time, worried that he would be unkind to me or to either of our children.
But this forgetting on my part does have me asking a few questions:
First, why did/do I forget? Without a doubt, my husband is the most important person in my life. Is it that he is so there, constant, and steady that it’s easy to forget how much he brings and gives to our family? To not appreciate, to not value, to take him for granted? He’s the left tackle; the blindside tackle in my life. I am asking myself, “How do I make sure that I honor him?” How do any of us value the people who are our constants?
Also, I have a bigger question about how we make a big deal out of Mother’s Day here in the United States. While there is some cynicism around that––why don’t we value the work of mothering every day? We need to do more of that. But fathering is also important, deeply important. How can we do a better job of honoring the role of both parents and elevating the role of fathers in our society? A good man who loves his family and ensures that his children are safe; this is not as common as it should be, yet it is more common than we notice and applaud.
I loved this post: Emily Snyder talks about her father, her brother and brothers-in-law, and all the unsung good men in her life and in our lives, “I have countless treasured men in my life that I have watched invest and grow relationships in truly remarkable ways. They seek out opportunities to be infused with goodness and to care for details…. My heart aches at how little recognition the everyday man gets for being a powerful, steady force for good.”
And also, for your post-Father’s Day listening pleasure, we suggest you revisit our podcast episode with Stew Friedman titled Parents Who Lead at Work and Home, and as a bonus, read this article we published in HBR a few years ago To Have a Happier Life at Home, Treat It a Little More Like Work.
It’s interesting to me when a podcast intersects with life experience that seems to be unrelated but isn’t. Our interview with Zeynep Ton, MIT professor, and author of The Case for Good Jobs, is one such serendipitous moment. She makes the case that ‘front line work’ matters and that if you want to improve your bottom line, you do it not by lowering salaries, but by raising them. “The important question is not whether a particular work is worth $15 an hour,” she writes, “but rather whether that person’s work –– the job –– has been designed to contribute $15 an hour.” I hope you will be as inspired by what she’s doing and who she is as I was.
Who are your left tackles?
Who are the great men in your life? I tip my hat to them.
All best,
Whitney
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